Advice from Lexiphiles (those who love playing on words) which a CEO Can Use During Staff Meetings:
He can start off meetings by saying “To write with a broken pencil is pointles".
He can make himself look more important by whispering in the US Women’s Coach’s ear, “When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.”
He can try to make himself look more erudite by saying, “The pool is okay because the professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.”
He can tell the Finance Officer, “You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it”.
He can show knowledge about the internet by announcing, “Australia’s Local Area Network can be called the LAN down under”.
He can be glad that he is appointed and not elected to the CEO position because “A boiled egg would be hard to beat”.
When he is asked how he became so alert at the staff meetings, he can say, “If you take a laptop computer for a run every morning you too can jog your memory”.
When asked how come he keeps forgetting his train of thought his answer can be “He had a photographic memory which was never developed”.
“When he saw his first strands of gray hair, he thought he’d dye” but he soon found out that appearances don’t mean a thing because “In a democracy it’s you vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count CEO that votes”.
I really believe that the current CEO believes “Acupuncture is a jab well done”.
Some more words of wonder for a CEO?
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
The batteries were given out free of charge.
A will is a dead giveaway.
When you have seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Could This Be Idioms of Advice to a CEO from a Board of Directors???
Don't place us BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP BLUE SEA.
Don't dare BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS YOU.
Don't be A BULL IN A CHINA SHOP or you will end up with a large bar bill.
Remember DO AS WE SAY NOT AS WE DO.
At the receptions don't act NUTTY AS A FRUITCAKE.
Be nice to the junior staff TILL THE COWS COME HOME - the USAWP can't function without them.
Every day BUTTER SOMEONE UP on the Board of Directors.
You can CATCH MORE FLIES WITH HONEY THAN WITH VINEGAR - really you can.
Be A WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING with the BOD and a wolf in wolf's clothing with the members and junior staff.
When we give you advice and you give us advice back don't say it's the BLIND LEADING THE BLIND.
Remember; make the members PAY THROUGH THE NOSE.
Keep the members IN THE DARK especially members who are referees.
Remember the FAT CATS are on the BOD and a CEO is not even a skinny kitten.
Limit "Ask the CEO" answers to a couple sentences so it want make people SICK AS A DOG.
Keep the members IN HOT WATER to soften them up for the inevitable next USAWP fund raiser.
Forget being ON PINS AND NEEDLES be on stilettos and machetes when answering members' questions.
For a member TO SKATE ON THIN ICE it means that the member is going to get wet and cold.
Always be MR GOODY-TWO-SHOES around the Board Members.
If there is a SKELETON IN YOUR CLOSET then make him or her pay USAWP dues.
When you WALK ON EGGS you get a mess similar to the USAWP.
USA Water Polo Board of Directors
Mike Graff: Chairman email@example.com
Bill Smith: Secretary firstname.lastname@example.org
Ed Reynolds: email@example.com
RoAnn Costin: firstname.lastname@example.org
Richard Esterkin: email@example.com
Sandy Nitta: firstname.lastname@example.org